so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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