Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
