She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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