Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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