i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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