Are we in a gay sports bar?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize