i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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