Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
