Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
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Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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