and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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