do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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