One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do vagina's smell?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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