After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
