Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.

Fav 9 3367 905
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(806): View more from Texas

my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

Fav 33 3125 922
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(631): View more from New York

Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?

Fav 88 974 6157
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(765): View more from Indiana

yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.

(1-765): View more from Indiana

yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.

Fav 21 985 2812
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk

Fav 37 1842 9150
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(816): View more from Missouri

I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy

Fav 16 5143 1002
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(630): View more from Illinois

you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

Fav 5 6042 1981
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(404): View more from Georgia

I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.

Fav 3 1645 971
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.

Fav 0 84 1
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