I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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