oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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