just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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