she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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