forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize