Kiss
Puke
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
