He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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