our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
