i dont even know how to be here
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Text me some of your sweat
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
