just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
