And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
