More tranny stories later!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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