it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
