if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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