considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
