It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
