I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize