Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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