I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
