I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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