Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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