i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
