he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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