just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
