Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
