I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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