Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
