Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
