Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
