I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize