at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
