I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
