So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So much Jack, so little girl.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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