don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize