Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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