I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
