Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
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I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.