jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost