How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked