you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?