so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy