He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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