Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
