I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
