Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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