I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
