why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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