You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
