my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
