Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize