My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
