My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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