oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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