nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize