When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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