whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
